LEAVENWORTH (Washington)

Molly loves turkey dog!

See?

So very, very messy.

Today Brad, Dan, Molly and I took a drive up to the tourist-trappiest of tourist traps in Washington--Leavenworth.

Now, with a name like that, you'd expect some sort of tie-in to a certain famous city, but that is not the case. When people in Washington hear "Leavenworth", they don't hear "Cowboys", they hear "Tiny little Bavarian wonderland."

Buhwuh?

Allow me to explain...


Upon arriving in Leavenworth, you will find yourself awash in Bavarian-styled splendor, even big chains like Subway, MacDonald's, and even Wells-Fargo have altered their corporate-approved logos and signs to fit the decor.

I say good on this town for it--it's good to have the kitsch uncut by supermodern minimalist logos and fonts.

Mmm. Bavarian.

Every view is amazing.

My crappy cameraphone does not do justice.

 The view, my friends, is spectacular. Crossing into the town requires one take a trip through Stevens Pass  which during the summer is a beautiful, scenic route on highway 2.

The view is gorgeous, amazing, sweeping vistas and even this time of year you can still spot patches of snow as you brush up against the Cascades. If I had a better camera, dear readers, you'd have been treated to many of them.

Enough of sweeping beauty, though, the thing that really draws is the kitsch.  When I say kitsch, though, do not mistake it for just one knockoff of many, as there is some mighty fine shopping, drinking, and eating to be had in Leavenworth.

Cured is one such lovely place, as is the inexpensive and delicious Munchen Haus, where if you can't fill up on  ten bucks, you're really not trying. For six bucks you get a massive sausage (hur-hur-hur) and all the sauerkraut you can fit into your gullet. Molly, Dan's 16-month-old with a startlingly refined palate dove into her turkey dog with gusto--once her old man had removed the sweet relish which she clearly loathed and replaced it with the apple cider sauerkraut that is self-serve and awesome. There is a variety self-serve gourmet mustards to be had, and Molly wasted no time diving in.

 This is Washington, though, and no trip to a tourist trap is ever complete without some wine.

Chocolate wine. More delicious than a
 thirteen dollar bottle of wine has any right to be.

Washingtonians and coffee. Lesigh.

For the alcoholic on the go.

 We located a shop (not many were still open) with local and imported wines, meads, and beer.

Oh, dear, sweet Jesus in Heaven, the beer.

BEER. BEER BEER BEER BEER BEER.

 Last, but not least, we return to the kitsch. Bask in it, my friends, because this is true American art.

Cut red tape. BAH HAHA.

Divorce-tini? Ohboy.

I should have gotten the scorpion mouse. For irony.

I want mermaid!

Sooo, do you think this one is hot? I dunno, let's feed some to Molly.