Gruit: Or, the problem with bitters

NGIEWSASDASDAGHK:LJELSAKRJER.
So. Corey hates bitter. I’m trying to find him a beer that he’ll enjoy so we can find a beer to make and the only things that I can find are mild ale, Gruit (flavored with not-hops) or developing some bastard brew technique that doesn’t leave the hops in long enough to make the brew bitter, but does leave the hops in long enough to sanitize.
Ugh, okay, let me explain.
As opposed to making wine or mead, beer classically has way less alcohol content. While wine classically has enough alcohol in it to “keep” indefinitely (the alcohol acts as a preservative) beer normally does not. When you smell stale, sour beer, it’s because the sugars that are leftover from the fermenting process (and what has all those delicious, empty calories) can spoil as the alcohol content isn’t high enough to keep the drink from going bad.
Enter hops. The essential oils and whatnot in the humble little hop-flower and its associated parts not only act as a flavoring agent (yum) but also as a botanical preservative. Add in the fact that the other job that this plant performs is to add a little bitter to counterbalance the sweet of the malted barley (or whatever grain) and you get a beverage which is complex and delicious on the palate.
So, let’s say you dislike hops, or (bless your poor soul) are allergic. What do you do? Well, there’s Gruit, which is beer made with the same principle as regular beer but instead of using hops, they use other botanical ingredients. There’s apparently some historical controversy involving the church but basically the facts are this: Once upon a time we got all our preservative for beer from botanicals other than hops. Sometime during the castle-and-peasant-burn-the-witch time period (Look, we’re not discussing the dark ages or the middle ages and what is what, we’re just not, okay? Let it go. It’s not going to happen.) somewhere in Germany (apparently, plz not to crucify, Mister Internet, thx) a movement came about and tadaa, we started using hops.
Lots of people these days prefer to make their homebrews with Gruit, which is all well and good! I’m totally down with that, but the problem is this: It’s not the hoppy flavor of flowers and grass and aromatics and citrus that Corey doesn’t like. It’s the bitter.
Fuck. Me.
Okay. Okay. We can do this. We can look at the math and sit down and figure out how long and in what stage to add what botanical, be it hops or fucking heather or whatever to make the beer just a little bitter. Just a little. Just enough to be clean, just enough to be sweet and light and balanced.
I am so swamped with halfassed information that I can’t begin to tell you guys where we’re going to start. So, for now, as is the truth with all beer brewing, we must start with beer drinking.
We need to get some good milk stouts and I dunno, a mild ale, or just say “fuck it” and do us up something he can’t possibly bitch about and devote some serious time to making a lambic. HAHA. IT WOULD BE EASIER TO MAKE FRUIT WINE BUT NO. NO.
Corey has the palate of a seven year old. And hey, he’s a lot of people. Lots of folks can’t take the bitter and honestly it’s something you have to let grow on you. An acquired taste.
But for the love of God, if he can come to terms with the nasty ass cheese he’s always buying (Look, cheese shouldn’t be runny and smell like something died in something else’s butt, okay?) and trying to foist on me he can come to term with something complicatedly simple and bitterly delicious.
Or, you, my dear readers, are going to be treated to a lot, lot, lot more swearing as time goes on.
Anyway, cats and kittens. Until then I shall get back to trudging through the muck and trying to find a resolution to this conundrum.

Finally.

I mean, it’s been a while, right?

It’s been a long while since I’ve really sat down and posted and I really wanted to let you guys know what’s been going on. House Blarg/House Quiet Chaos has split up some, and right now it’s just myself, Corey and Geoff living the life in a tiny little apartment a stone’s throw from my office. The bad news is the walls are thin and I hate apartment living. The good news? Why, I’m Dana’s neighbor!

(Linkity)

Swing by and say hi to Dana. She loves new posters. In case you guys don’t know, Dana’s this lovely writer and fantastic blogger (and drinker of that vile substance, tah-kill-ya) whom I happen to have the dear honor and joy of living near and working with. Her blog is chock full of geological fangirldom ramblings, excellent music choices, and atheist, free-thinking kickassery. She’s a partner in crime and an all-around good time. Maybe someday we’ll get her over to do one of the podcasts—which reminds me….

The podcasts are coming back. I promise. They’ll be a little less shout-y, and maybe a little more write-y, on account of being in an apartment complex but with one as huge as the one we just moved into, you never know who you’re going to bump into at the mailbox.

It’s been a long, hard, unpleasant year in some respects, but an adventure in others. I have to remind myself that my life is filled with beautiful wonderful people, and that where I live is paradise. Is it an even trade off for some temporary discomfort? I have photographic evidence.

And here it is.

But for those of you who don’t believe in following links, here’s a sample:

 

Just a little taste. Too many beautiful things to show in one simple post. I just wanted to say thank you all. It’s been a beautiful, educational year. Painful, terrifying, upsetting, but in the end, I am stronger for it.

All my love,

 

-stars.

The Flicker Stream

Uh. So.

Hey, guys.

Did I mention we're still moving and I still have a metric TON of photos to organize, but these are my favorites so far.

((CLICKY-CLICKY!!))

I'm not yet a superawesome photographer or anything, but these are the ones I think have turned out the best.

Anyway, kids, I'll have something worthwhile soon. In the meantime, behave yourselves.

-C

House Blarg Moves

Hey, cats and kittens, just a quick heads-up, House Blarg has come apart and been reformed--smaller, leaner and meaner. Corey and I (and the Geoff) are going to be back soon with more amusement, tauntings, and the like.

Stay tuned!

You Probably Annoy Me, Too.

 
I want to talk to you all for a little bit about something that has been bothering me.  An election year is around the corner, and that means its time for the three ring circus to begin.

Most of my dear readers, most of you are too detached from the whole political process to give two expressions of fecal matter, but allow me to rant for a little while—because I do care.

I’ve gone on and on about this on Facebook, and I’m going to rant right now about it loud and clear.

Politics are not something that you can just disregard as Someone Else’s Problem. They are your problem. If you ever hope to hold land, if you pay taxes, if you have an above-room-temperature IQ, it is in your best interest to be aware of the politics and to get motivated.
I blame part of your disengagement on the media. I blame part of your disengagement on the hyperbolic rhetoric that gets spouted out of both ends of each party like a never-ending stream of vomit and feces. It, like diarrhea and nausea are not a disease in and of themselves; they’re a symptom of some bigger problem.
Gastroenteritis of the mind and of the sociopolitical self, it is a symptom of our increasing dysfunction as a nation.

We are coming apart and it’s not because of the politicians and the media—they’re just the clowns in the circus.

It’s become the fad not to care, to act like we’re so far above it all.
Guess what, kids? It’s your health insurance they’re talking about. It’s your retirement they’re talking about. It’s your future they’re talking about. It’s your science, your planet. It isn’t someone else’s problem, it’s ours.

Look at the politicians who are making your choices for you right now. They’re old men and women who are too slow behind the tech curve to keep up with Twitter, for God’s sake. These are the people that you and you alone are allowing to rule this nation in your stead. These men and women neither understand nor care about you. They don’t understand your views, your needs, your wants. They don’t like your art and they hate your music. They don’t understand the Internet. They wouldn’t know an IP address if it walked up to them and pinched them on the testicle.

These are the people who have spent the last four years fighting to keep your eye off the ball, to keep us so entertained (or repulsed) by the circus of the media that we’re missing the parts where they’re smashing scientific advancements against the rocks like the heads of small children. There’s a Biblical reference for you.

It is our responsibility to fix this situation. It’s our time to demand wiser politicians, to speak up, to refuse to be party to their games of distract and distrust.

It’s time that we inherit the earth.

In each of us is the power to begin anew, to refuse to watch the mess become a bacchanalia of political comedy and to most of all stay engaged in the conversation.  It is unbelievably important to stay involved in the conversation. Nothing is more important.

By not watching the news, you don’t make it go away, you just make yourself stupid.

The Dalai Lama  says that whether one believes in a religion or not and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion.

The Bible says that the meek will inherit the earth—and we have had enough of being meek.

When you hear someone start to talk about rhetoric or hyperbolically about whatever their political opponent has begun to blabber about—raise your hand and say as politely as you can “I’m sorry, I don’t have time for this. What they’ve said has come and gone. What do you have to say about this particular piece?”

Get involved. Get engaged.
Stay involved. Stay engaged.

This is your problem, it’s your responsibility now to deal with it.

In My Backyard: Letters D and E.

Here comes letters D and E, kids, recorded on 7/25, a special double header for Dan's birthday!

We discuss Amy Winehouse, Dan's birthday, and more matters of the heart.

Click here, cats and kittens, to be geeked for Letter D.

Click here instead for letter E.

Why Verizon's Strike Is A Big Deal

Unions.

They're under a lot of fire recently, because big business doesn't want you to organize. They don't want you to have a say in what goes on in your workplace. They believe if you don't like it, find a job elsewhere.

In a struggling economy, though, there is no elsewhere. Major telecommunications corporations are taking in money faster than they ever have, hand over fist, and rather than rewarding the hard work of their employees upper management is telling them to tighten the belt. Make sacrifices.

Those sacrifices go straight into management's pocket and we never see a dime of it.

Don't get me wrong--in a tough economy, I am 100% down with cutting costs and saving money wherever we can in order to remain profitable (that's my pension, thankyouverymuch), but when we go to the lengths that we do and the company does turn a profit, we don't see it. That makes me angry.

So we go to the bargaining table, asking to be treated as if we have some value. For AT&T, it didn't come to a strike.

For Verizon, it has.

Verizon's gross negligence is staggering. I can rant all day about how cell phone companies rely on their ability to maintain service (all cell calls eventually go into or pass through the land line system) and how it will take them regularly two or more weeks to complete a four hour job.

Let's not start there. Let's start with the numbers:
http://www.newnetworks.com/UnderbellyVerizonStrike.htm

Then we can talk about employee treatment:
http://www.cwa-union.org/issues/entry/c/verizon


Look, just as an army marches on its stomach, a company's treatment of its customers and the profits they make, the company's very performance comes from the way the corporation treats its employees.

It's time to stop this blame shit on the poor people thing we've been doing. It's time to stop blaming the voters, stop blaming the employees, stop blaming the teachers, stop blaming the unions and start blaming the politicians, lobbyists, and the corporate assholes that are responsible for this mess.

Your actions do have repercussions. Examples need to be made. Accountability MUST become the name of the game.

Sigh. Every day is the end of the world, folks. It's what you do after the end that matters.

Signing off for now, this has been Caeli. Don't burn down your neighbor's house.